9 September, 2024
So much for "getting back into it" lol. I got hit by a truck in late July and have been in the hospital for god knows how long. Good news is I'm almost back to normal with only doublevison and a couple small scars to show for it all. I don't really have memory of the hit-and-run or the first chunk of the hospital visit, but I was told I had an impressive recovery, going from comatose, to basically vegatative, to consious but pretty out of it, to suddenly "coming back" basically overnight (which is also around the time my memory starts to kick back in). Now I'm outpaient and for the most part feel like I'm functioning overall normally, although I acknowledge I'm the quintessential unreliable narrarator in this scenario.
Bad news is my health insrance was apparently still tied to the last state I was living in, so I've been having to argue with health insurance people just as much as talk to doctors. My dad called my experience "kafka-esque" the other day. He doesn't know that word's become a meme, but I'm still inclined to agree with him. My curren state is known for having pretty bad health insurance policies, so unil further notice I'm hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.
That thing about geting a second lease on life is so true btw. I had what could almost be called a spiritual awakening of sorts while in the hospital. I decided that if I'm gonna get a second chance to live life I should actually live it. My story should actally be told, at least in some measure. "Van life" was already the goal, and I already had some pretty spiritual books on my shelves, but I wasn't actively working towards any steps to get a van together and I hadn't really engaged with any form of magic since I was in elementary school. I've had to put van life on the shelf for the immediate future because clearing my doublevision comes first, but everything else about my life I'm starting to engage with more and more! That means fleshing out the faith I was raised with, yes, but also I've been bringing back all my old/abandoned hobbies! Today I sat and drew for the first time since the pandemic! wow!
Wish me luck, I'll need it :0)
Shepherd
16 July, 2024
Wow ok there’s a big time gap here (first entry 8 January 2024), but hi again i’m back! I’ve been feeling a little stuck in life and it made me fall into a bit of a depressive slump. It wasn’t anything too serious, but enough that I stopped keeping up with my interests for a hot minute there! Good news is I’ve been on lots of road trips out west to reconnect with various friends and family members, I’m out socializing more often, I’ve set life goals and I’m (very slowly) working towards them, and now I’m picking up my hobbies again. All in all I’ve been doing much better!!
I don’t have anything much to say here except that I want to be more active again, and that I’m gonna try to take this website (along with some other creative hobbies like drawing) less seriously. My hobbies are supposed to be things I do for myself because I find them interesting, but I’ve been treating everything like its for a grade, and I get so wound up in not messing up (or looking too cringe) that I kill my passion, so I’m gonna try to just let things flow. I’m also gonna try to put more active interest into my hobbies; sort of flush the decade-long art block away one unimpressive project at a time. Instead of letting myself rot on the couch I’m gonna force myself to knit scarves, crochet granny squares, doodle dumb things, play repetitive bass riffs, write shitty poems, and type website breaking code until I stop being scared of creating. Healing usually hurts like pressing on a bruise and itches like a scab, so wish me luck!!
I'll (hopfully) talk to you soon!
Shepherd
8 January, 2024
Hi everyone,
Soft launching my blog by saying happy (belated) new year to us all and happy birthday to me! Typing this out real quick while I eat breakfast and then I’m headed out for the day, I wasn’t expecting the rain, but theres still plenty of fun things to do. I think I might check out a local arcade that’s been here longer than I have (and yet i STILL haven’t gone to check it out! We’re changing that today!!).
I say this is a soft launch because I still can’t get the CSS on my blog theme quite right, so for now I’m just using my default/main theme, and i’ll update the layout later. I’ve just been getting a little frustrated having to hold in (and then losing) all my cool ideas/inspiration for blog posts, so I’ve decided to let myself write them and accept that not everything can be perfect when I’m first starting out. This feels like my first big project on this website (other than the website itself, which will probably never be finished lol), so some clunkiness as I’m learning is normal and fine and I’m gonna stop beating myself up over it.
Signing off for now,
Shepherd
